impulsiveingenue: (Default)
It's been a couple weeks since this happened, but I never really addressed it here. Maybe I should do that now.

Apparently, ever since I went on hormones, I've gotten kind of bitchy. Looking at it in hindsight, I can see myself getting more frustrated and ticked off in general more often. Thankfully, my friends sort of had an intervention about it, and I've recognized the issue. The problem is that testosterone is an emotional inhibitor, and estrogen is pretty much the opposite. I'm not used to needing to keep my temper in check, so I haven't been policing it. Clearly that's something I need to do. So far I think I've been managing alright.

On one hand, it's nice to see some evidence from others that the hormones are having some effect, because it's such a peewee dose I was worried that I'm pretty much wasting my time until I get something heftier. I haven't noticed any real physical changes, which is pretty much what I was in this for, so any effect is a good sign, I suppose. I just wish that the evidence wasn't that I'm actively more bitchy to people.

I really hate these long stretches between medical and therapy appointments. All of my worries and freakouts build and build and it gets to be almost unbearable. I still have almost a month to go before my next appointment with the nurse I get my hormones from. Two weeks or so before that, I'm going to have to go get my blood drawn again. After the awful time I've had on this diet, my cholesterol had better have fucking plummeted. Unfortunately that's not too likely because I've got a family history of high cholesterol on both sides of my family. I am kind of fucked in that respect.

It does not help that I've spent much of the last two weeks in intense pain from either back or neck complaints. Right now I'm sitting here trying to keep a heating pad on my neck while simultaneously trying to find a comfortable way to rest my head on my chair's back and type at the same time. So far without success. I really don't want to call in sick on Saturday but if I still feel this way Saturday morning I'm going to do so, because the last two days I've gone in feeling like this I've been in almost debilitating levels of pain by the end of the work day.

Hooray life.
impulsiveingenue: (Face x Desk OTP)
It's my birthday and I don't really give a shit.

I've never really cared much about my birthday, and this year it's just been completely overshadowed by the approaching appointment with a nurse about hormones. Except I don't know if I'm going to get hormones after this appointment or if I'll need another appointment after this (cue another six-week wait, probably), so I'm not excited so much as nervous and tense and uuuuuuuuugh.

I am so sick of waiting and psyching myself out over this. Why can't it be Monday at 4PM already?

Bleh.

Dec. 11th, 2010 12:03 pm
impulsiveingenue: (Naptime)
I am really tired of closeting myself for the benefit of others.

I don't mind helping out, but this is getting on my nerves.

Thirty-three days. I may end up giving the Doc a call after the New Year and see if we can't move up the date any.

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impulsiveingenue

July 2011

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